So to go along with yesterday’s post, I decided to share a poem I wrote while I was in social work school (about 6 years ago).  At the time, I was dating a young man who checked all the boxes: handsome, smart, worked out, good job, and adored me.  However, I still felt disconnected.  The truth had always been there deep down inside of me where I had kept it buried for so long… covered in serious denial, but it was finally (slowly) starting to float to the surface.   The following is the poem I wrote in bed one night just before I fell asleep.   

Autonomy

How does the heart exist

Independent of the mind

So that it cannot be commanded

As can the feet or the hands

But like a rebellious child

Pays no heed to instructions?

Does she not see the warning?

Does she not know love’s pain?

She is not moved by love unrequited

Nor does she waver with logic or reason

But stands firm

Even when all else fails.

It never ceases to amaze me how the heart is a completely autonomous from the brain.  Just when you think you got life all figured out, your heart comes along and screws it all up.  For people who like to fit everything into neat little boxes with ribbons and bow ties, this is a cause of many panic attacks!   

For me, I tend to over analyze things until I’m blue in the face.  But when it comes down to it, following my heart is the only thing that gives me peace and happiness.  My minds obsessive-compulsive thoughts can echo in my head over and over like a broken record, but in the end, it is my heart that prevails over all the anxiety.